capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
