aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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