Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
