I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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