Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
