You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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