Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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