thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
