i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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