you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
