i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
