i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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