I puked a lego.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
