I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
