it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
