i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
