Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
