I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
