I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
