Your dad touched me again.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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