Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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