awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
