i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just had sex bonerless
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
