I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
