My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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