her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
PANTIES FOUND
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