Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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