I cockslap morals
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
