Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
