then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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