he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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