Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have demons in me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Couch. On fire.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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