I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
