As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
