so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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