Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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