Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
