So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
