bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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