nut hugger
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
