My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
