What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize