no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wear drunk well.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
