Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
