There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
