Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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