I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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