I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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