there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
