just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize