I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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