We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
