its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
