We need to rekindle our bromance
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
