its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
