Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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