You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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