Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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