So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
