ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
